From The Shower to Middle Earth
by stabbythings
Summary: A series of one shots where a girl goes from her shower to Middle-Earth and meets The Fellowship. Alya Thranduiliell is my Co-writer she writes some and I write some.
1. COME NO CLOSER TO MEH TREE

I was about to get out of the shower when a bright light flashed I noticed I was now in a forest clearing. 'Did I just figure out time travel while taking a shower?' I thought. That's when I realized I was naked.

"OH HOLY SHIT." I yelled looking for some way to hide myself.

"Did you hear that" A male voice that reminded me of Legolas from the LOTR movies said. I gulped and looked around more frantically I guessed The Fellowship was on their way to Lòrien considering the woods I was in reminded me of the LOTR that or I had somehow ended up on the LOTR set and now I was going to be on camera naked. I scurried behind a big fat tree and hid.

" Is anyone here?" The voice I thought belonged to Legolas said.

"YES AND I HAVE NO CLOTHING COME NO CLOSER TO MEH TREE!" I yelled sticking my head around the tree so they could see what tree I was behind. I saw who I was most certain was the real Legolas taking off his pack and grabbing a set of clothing.

"Here" the elf said reaching his hand out which held a set of leggings a tunic and a cloak thingy. I grabbed it quickly not caring if they would be slightly too big or not. I shoved the leggings on surprised they fit just about right they were big in a few places and shoved the tunic on over my head quickly not wanting any one to see me naked I noticed that the arms were way to big and made me seem like Break from Pandora Hearts I pulled on the cloak and came out from behind my tree giggling because I look like Break but dressed in green and brown instead of purple.

"Thanks for those" I said while running my fingers through my hair as soon as I got to the top of my ear I noticed it was pointed. "AHHH WHY ARE MY EARS POINTED? POR QUE?" I yelled. I soon noticed everyone was staring at me "Oh my ears were never pointed before and the 'por que' thing is Spanish." I said.

"Spanish?" Pippin asked.

"Umm where I come from elves don't exist nor do hobbits or dwarves only men. There is this one country that speaks Spanish and it's called Spain" I tried to explain. "So can I join The Fellowship perhaps because I doubt I'll be going back to my world any time soon?" I said. I noticed everyone was sad so I was right I was in Middle Earth. "Oh I'm Lillie by the way." I added.

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**AN: Sadly enough I don't own Lord Of The Rings if some how I ever own it Shadow owes me money big time. But I may be getting a copy of 'THE ONE RING' for my birthday! **


	2. Welcome To The Fellowship

I was in the shower, softly humming the Rohan Theme from the Lord of the Rings movies, when suddenly a blinding flash of green light disconcerted me for a moment. I opened my eyes, not realizing that I had squeezed them shut against the light. I reached up instinctively to wring my hair out when I noticed that the tips of my ears had tapered into graceful points. Looking down, I saw that my hair had grown much longer and much straighter. I suddenly realized that I was stark naked, and darted behind a tree with a loud shriek. Suddenly I heard a lilting voice say something.

"Did any of you hear a scream?"'

Quick footsteps reached my newly heightened sense of hearing, followed swiftly by a lithe, well-knit body clothed in green and brown with a long mane of flowing blonde hair with warrior plaits and tips of ears protruding. The elf quickly drew his bow and nocked an arrow, aiming and preparing to shoot. His cold gaze met mine, paralyzing me down to my toes. He spoke in a cold, chilling tone.

"What is your name, and why are you following us? Speak quickly!"

Petrified as I was, I turned and ran like a deer. I heard a _twang_, and in less than a second, pain in the form of an arrow fletched with bright yellow feathers embedded itself in my shoulder, and I fell with a cry. Gasping, I reached for my shoulder,but I was flipped over onto my back and pinned to the ground by an angry warrior Elf, eyes flashing in anger. Looking deep into my huge eyes, sparkling with unshed tears, he softened his grip, but did not take his angular knee from my collarbone.

"I will ask one more time, and if you do not give me an answer, I will be forced to slay you, beautiful as you are."

I could do no more than stare at him, then a teardrop escaped my unwilling eyes, running like a little diamond down my cheek. The elf inspected it for a moment, then released me and let me clutch at my shoulder.

"I am Alya, and I am not following you, I was transported here somehow. I was bathing, but it seems I need another wash now. You're Prince Legolas of Mirkwood."

It was not a question. Legolas nodded and let me sit up, however I collapsed back to the ground with a gasp of pain. Legolas picked me up and ran with me. He ran for over a mile, then set me down gently and covered my body with a thin blanket. I looked up and saw nine faces bent over me, and it dawned on me that I was in the company of the Fellowship of the Ring.

A man with dark hair that I assumed to be Aragorn knelt beside me. The Man spoke in a very gentle tone.

"Hello, my name is Aragorn. I will see to your wound. This will hurt, young Alya. Are you prepared?"

I nodded, and Aragorn yanked the long shaft out of my shoulder, extricating a small whimper from me. Legolas' face bent over me, his forehead creased with worry and guilt. He seemed to be feeling awful about shooting me unawares. I reached up and smoothed the wrinkles from his forehead, and he gave a tentative grin, which I returned.

Aragorn crushed a leaf of a strange plant, and dropped it in a potful of boiling water. When it had steeped a bit, he cleansed the puncture with it, and I suddenly felt very sleepy. With a sigh, I succumbed to the darkness awaiting, and as I sank into sleep, I saw a grey figure stooping over me. He spoke in a rich voice.

"Welcome to the Fellowship."

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**AN: Alya wrote this one she wrote two this week so the next chapter is hers too. No I haven't gotten any money from Shadow so I don't own Lord of The Rings.**


	3. Why are you crouched in the bushes?

I was showering peacefully when a bright white light shattered my thoughts. I looked around in panic, noting that I was no longer in a shower, but I was now in a vast forest, surrounded by thick trees. I reached up to warm my ears, then noticed, deeply shocked, that my ears had acquired slight tips. With a jolt of embarrassment, I realized that I was still unclothed, and I crouched in a clump of bushes, attempting to hide. Suddenly a rich male voice rang out.

"Hello, is anyone here?"

A beautiful blonde elf strode into the clearing, looking around before finally resting his piercing gaze on me. He stared for a moment, then with a swift, fluid movement, drew his bow, nocked an arrow, and aimed it at my breast.

"Who are you, and why are you here?"

I stared back into his intense blue-grey eyes, my own eyes huge and filled with fear. Legolas slowly lowered his bow, sensing that I was too terrified of finding an arrow through my body to speak.

"You are Legolas?"

"Correct, but that is irrelevant. Who are you?"

"My name is Alya, and I do not know how I came here. One minute I was bathing, and I saw a bright flash of light, and now I'm here, wherever here is!"

"Why are you crouched in the bushes?"

Legolas looked down, then quickly averted his gaze.

"Ah, forgive me. I will run back to camp and fetch some spare garments."

Legolas disappeared back the way he had come, my anxious eyes following his movement. My anxiety was short-lived, for Legolas soon reappeared, carrying a few large, baggy garments with him. He tossed them into the bushes, then turned around pointedly. I hesitantly rose and donned the too-big clothes.

"All right, you can turn around now."

Legolas turned around, face still stern, but a smile sparkling in his beautiful eyes.

"Very well, come with me. I will introduce you to the rest of the Fellowship."

Slinging an arm carelessly about my shoulders, he marched me back to camp, unaware of the fact that I was in a kind of stupor, unable to believe that I had just met Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood and he was _touching_ me.

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**AN: Alya wrote this one too please review you would be making not just one but two people happy. Also don't own Lord of The Rings but I wish I did.**


	4. Also do You Have Any Mushrooms?

I was twenty-five years old. I reached out sleepily and grabbed my alarm clock. It was 2:30 am. I suddenly felt an urgent need to take a warm bath, so I hopped out of bed and started the water running. I slipped my clothes off smoothly and stepped into the now full tub, filled two thirds of the way with hot water with curls of steam rising from it. I had just settled down in the tub and closed my eyes when the water suddenly turned cold and bright sunlight intruded into my eyes.

I rubbed my eyes and carefully opened them again. The first thing I saw were two giant stone pillars taking the form of Men with their left hands extended. Suddenly I realized that I was still stark naked and that my ears had spontaneously grown points. A chill ran down my spine. I looked behind me, and saw a few boats riding low in the water and a small camp on the water's edge. I dragged myself out of the water and made for the camp.

I blundered my way to the rim of the camp and I saw eight people seated in a semicircle facing away from me. I stepped a little bit closer, and a twig snapped under my foot. A person with long blonde hair, pointed ears, and an elegant bow slung around his body jerked up and stared directly at me. I froze. The whole company stood and turned, and I felt a blush coming on. Suddenly a loud voice penetrated the deadly silence.

"Hello, do you happen to know whether we should go to Gondor or Mordor? Also, do you have any mushrooms?"

I stared down at the little man with curly hair and feet covered in brown fuzz.

"Hello Pippin, do you happen to have any clothes suitable for an Elf?"

The little man started.

"How do you know my name?"

The blonde Elf strode forward. He threw a bundle of green and brown clothes that landed at my feet and spoke in a low and musical, yet deadly voice.

"What are you doing here? You do not look familiar."

I picked up the clothes and hid behind a tree to change. When I was done changing I went back and walked carefully into the small clearing. I slowly took in the face framed in gold locks before me, and I sat down with a loud thump and huff. I looked back up and spoke weakly.

"Y…..you're…….You're LEGOLAS?!"

Legolas looked down at me and nodded, an amused look on his face. He spoke again.

"You know who I am, so who are you?"

"Whoops, sorry, my name is Alya."

I noticed a tall dark Man standing behind him, who spoke in a dry voice.

"So you can tell who Legolas is, but you do not recognize the rest?"

The Man assumed a look of fake hurt on his face. I laughed and pointed them all out.

"Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli."

They all looked on in amazement. Merry came up to me and tugged at my sleeve.

"How did you know that?"

I looked down at the Hobbit.

"In my world, all your adventures have been put into books. As for your earlier question Pippin", I said, turning to the youngest Hobbit, "I'm afraid you're not going to either place."

Legolas turned to me.

"Here, show me what you can do with a bow and arrow."

Legolas took off his bow and tossed it to me. I caught it with a look of shock on my face. I blushed and explained my embarrassment.

"Um, you see, I have no idea how to shoot."

The Fellowship gasped collectively, then the two younger Hobbits burst into laughter.

Boromir unbuckled his sword and took a deep swing at the base of my skull. I ducked with a small shriek.

"What are you doing?!"

Boromir chuckled.

"You have good reflexes."

Aragorn approached me and put a callused hand on my shoulder.

"Well, you might as well come with us. You know what's going to happen, so you can choose who you want to go with."

I looked around at my eight new friends, and grinned. I could get used to this.

SIX MONTHS LATER…

Legolas tipped my face up gently for a quick kiss before I approached Gandalf and Frodo. Gandalf spoke softly.

"It is time for you to return to your world, young Alya. Are you ready?"

I returned to Legolas for a longer kiss, then returned to Gandalf and heaved a sigh.

"No, I will never truly be ready, but go I must, and I will."

We all stepped up into the ship, and it left the dock in the Grey Havens. Gandalf ushered me to the trapdoor that takes you below deck, but a blazing light emanated from the cellar. I turned to Gandalf, confusion written all over my face.

"It is a one-time portal to your world. Step through, and you will be back in your bathtub, only 5 minutes having been passed while you were away. Perhaps the Valar will grant you a final trip back here before you pass from the world."

I took a last look back at Legolas, then entered the trap door. There was a bright flash of light, then I once again felt the hot water on my skin. I looked around, and everything had disappeared. Legolas, the ship, and my Elven clothes. I sighed and got out of the tub. Life would never be the same again.

TWENTY YEARS LATER…

I was forty-five years old, still unmarried and with no close relatives. I went to sleep and carefully set my alarm clock for 2:30 am. It had been almost exactly twenty years since I had been magically transported to Arda by the Valar, and I had been taking a hot bath every year at 2:30 am since then, hoping to get back somehow. I had never been successful. I slipped into the hot water with a sigh of longing. I felt my eyes drift down lower and lower. Suddenly a bright flash of light disoriented me for a second.

I opened my eyes, and I once again had the body I had had at twenty-five. My pointed ears were back, my long dark hair, everything…unfortunately, my clothes still hadn't come back with me. I heard a deep voice singing in what sounded like Sindarin. Soon a male Elf with silky blonde hair came through the trees holding a spare bundle of clothes. I stood up in a rush, and the Elf looked at me, averted his gaze, tossed me the clothes, turned away, and waited patiently. As soon as I was dressed he turned and caught me up in a gentle caress.

"I have been waiting for you, Alya."

I heard another voice, not from Legolas in my head.

_Congratulations, Alya. Your love in Arda has remembered you. You may stay here, as an Elf and live out your long years in peace._

_What? How?_, I questioned the voice in my head.

_Your life on Earth was lacking in substance, so we have brought you here once more. Your dead body will be discovered by worried neighbors who won't have seen you in weeks, and you will have seemingly drowned._

_Thank you, whoever you are, thank you!_

The voice seemed to hold a smile in its tone.

_You may address me as Ilúvatar._

I gasped in shock, drawing a strange glance from Legolas.

_Uhhhhhhhh….um….I've been talking to the great Ilúvatar, shaper of Arda and beyond?!_

The voice chucked softly.

_Indeed. Enjoy your life in Arda._

The voice departed from my head, and I became slowly aware that Legolas was kissing me.

I sighed and looked up into the sky. I was home.

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**Alya wrote this one~! No we don't own Lord of the Rings, though it would be cool to, I'm not that cool. Yay for over use of commas!~**


	5. Because I Keep Hearing This Voice

I was getting in the shower when this big mess started sure I always thought going to where I ended up would be cool but come on the shower being the portal to Middle Earth. So I'll tell you the story this way.

--Flashback start—

A bright purple light flashed all of a sudden without noticing I closed my eyes against the bright light. I opened my eyes to see a forest.

"What kind of shit did someone put in my drink? This is some trippy shit man if I start seeing talking caterpillars and bunnies in waistcoats and shit like that like Luis Carol did when he was on acid I'm gonna freak man." I said glancing around the forest "Oh look such pretty flowers" I murmured sitting down next to the flowers. Now keep in mind I'm NAKED. "So flowers how was your day." I said waiting to for a response but I kept on. Being under the impression that you're trippy IS NOT a good thing. "Well any ways flowers I was having a good day until someone put something in my food or drink or something," I said touching my ears for no real reason. "Oh flowers news flash I might be an elf because my ears are pointy now. Yup isn't that nice." I said looking up at the sky. "Oh yeah flowers promise you'll be my friend and ummm oh yeah why do you remind me of Lord of the Rings?" I kept on until I heard something.

"Do you hear something?" A male voice said.

"Yeah I do flowers it's nice that you're talking to me I thought you were ignoring me." I kept on.

"No we don't hear anything . . . why do you ask?" Another male voice said.

"God flowers your mean to me I thought you were nice I don't like you very much anymore." I said glaring at the flowers.

"Because I keep hearing this voice that's talking to flowers," The first voice said.

"Well you are an elf perhaps we just haven't heard it yet" A more gruff male voice said."

"Flowers I've had it up to hear with you stop saying you hear me than saying you don't in a different voice!" I said still glaring at the flower.

"I heard it this time" Yet another male voice said.

"Oh I'm glad at least two of your voices like me flower." I said turning up my nose to the flower.

"I hear it to" the second and gruff voice said.

"As do I" Several new voices said.

"Oh so now you like me flower well frack you." I said turning around and facing a tree. That luckily enough for me would not leave my front exposed in the next events.

"Aragorn why is there an uh . . ." The fist voice said.

"Legolas I can't answer very well if . . ." The fifth voice who must have been Aragorn wait a second I'm in Middle Earth? Am I really here?

"Umm could I ask you two where I am by any chance, Oh wait there were at least nine or so of you?" I said still thinking I was having high dreams or hallucinating. I was met by an awkward silence. "Oh I'm not wearing anything am I? Should I be embarrassed about this? Well I'm most likely hallucinating anyways . . ." I said trailing off realizing I wasn't high or trippy or anything and began to blush madly. "OH HOLY VALAR OR DO I SAY GOD WELL I'M IN MIDDLE EARTH I SHOULD YOU THE RIGHT GODS SHOULDN'T I. NOW I'M ALL CONFUSED AND I JUST MET THE FELLOW SHIP AND THEY THINK I'M CRAZY OR BEEN SMOKING SOMETHING-" I rambled.

"Milady would you like some clothing perhaps . . ." The one who I was sure was Legolas asked.

"Umm that would be nice." I said still blushing. "Oh could you leave whatever clothes behind me and then leave this quaint little clearing so I could dress myself. Oh yeah thanks too." I mumbled.

"The clothes are behind you now Milady. We'll wait outside the clearing." Legolas said. I waited a good few minutes so I could be sure that no one was still there. I stared at the neatly folded pile of clothes; I picked up the tunic and slipped it over my head. It was really baggy and brown but better than nothing. I then picked up the legging stood up and pulled them on, they were the right length and pretty baggy in a few places so I pulled one of the hair bows off my wrist and used it to make the pants tighter so they wouldn't fall off. I marched out of the clearing while pulling the cloak on.

"Okay first things first. I'm Emmi and no calling me LADY got it good." I said realizing I used the voice my brother used when he was talking like drill sergeants do. "Oh yeah ummm where are you going and can I come with you?" I said reverting back to my normal voice.

"Were going to Lothlórien, assuming your lost I don't see why not" Aragorn said

"So tell me if I'm wrong, Legolas, Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry?" I asked

"You're right . . . how did you know" Legolas asked staring at me as if I was crazy.

"Simple I know everything that will happen to all of you in the future, when you told me I was in Middle Earth you confirmed who all of you were." I said as if it was the MOST obvious thing ever. I noticed they were ALL looking at me as if I was crazy.

"Sooooooo could I perhaps join this Fellowship?" I asked going out on a limb.

". . . How do you know everything that's going to happen to us?" Frodo asked.

"Quite simple my lad in the realm I come from this is kinda like a tale you tell to little kids to scare them to death. At the end you say something like 'So if you don't shut up Sauron is going to come and throw you in to Mount Doom.'" I said.

". . ." was all I got out of them.

"Your people really tell their kids that?" Legolas asked.

"No not really . . ." I said.

"Come you may join us fore I fear if you don't you'll scare someone to death." Aragorn said.

"Cool I always thought being The Fellow ship would be cool, err anyone have a bow I can use I can shoot one." I said.

". . ." Was all I got out of them again

"So I'll take that as a yes. Shall we continue?" I said.

"I guess that will be a yes." Someone said as I marched on ward.

"Err what way to we go?" I asked.

"This is going to be a long trip." Aragorn stated.

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**Me Stabbythings wrote this one, I do not in any form own Lord of the Rings, if I did I would have a heart attack. No joke.**


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